A Writerly Afternoon
I spent Sunday afternoon feeling very literary. A friend of mine who is the editor for a prominent online Science Fiction/Fantasy magazine invited 6 writer friends to join him for an afternoon of reading and evaluating short story submissions to the magazine. (He's new to the position and the magazine has a backlog of submissions--some writers have been waiting for over a year to hear a "yes" or "no" on whether their story has been accepted.) So he filled a room with pizza, beer, wine, lemonade, and dessert and we plopped ourselves around a table and read for 5 hours.
It was challenging as this was not slush-pile reading. (Slush pile reading is the first go through of the huge pile of collected manuscripts. It's called such because it's easy the first go around to eliminate a bunch of crap--or slush--found there based on little more than reading the first page, first paragraph, or for the really bad writers, the first sentence.) The stories we read yesterday had already made it through an assistant editor's hands so all of them had merit. The challenge was to separate the very good from just the good.
For the first hour or so the room was quite as we worked through the manuscripts, marking an "X" across ones we didn't feel measured up and assigning a value of 1-10 for the ones we thought should make it to the next round. After a while though, patterns started to emerge, and we couldn't help but giggle.
"Oh my God, this is my third clone story," exclaimed one reader. "What's with all the clones?"
"This person just spent 3 paragraphs describing the color purple," said another. "Really, let it go and move on."
More silence. Someone snickered and we all looked up. The reader looked at us. "This one is written from the point-of-view of an elephant," she said. We all agreed that should be an automatic go-through. (Kidding.)
Then there were the sentences we read aloud to amuse each other. A hazard of Sci-Fi or Fantasy writing is writers get carried away with unpronounceable character names and places. Inserting an apostrophe in place of vowels for a name is a favorite trick, such as "S'djme." As a writer in our group said, "They think anything with an apostrophe and a vaguly sounding Celtic name is going to get them thr0ugh." So there would be sentences that read, "S'djme rode the Vrturn, descendents of the noble Miturian Roskslors, toward Ti-quothis clutching the Namr'iste Alqutian in his fist." Huh?
My friend the editor grabbed a fresh story from the box, read a sentence and tossed it in the discard pile. "It was written in present tense," he explained and we all laughed.
I had a hard time with it. Out of the 12 or so stories I read yesterday, there were maybe 3-4 that were a clear "no" for me. I liked all the others and had a difficult time choosing. It came down to who had the best package. One story I liked quite a lot had a weak opening and horrible ending--but the middle was quite intriguing so I considered saving it. But in the end it would take so much editing to get it to work it probably wasn't worth the time. A lot of us felt like one woman in the group who placed a manuscript in the "no" box with a sigh and the comment, "I so wanted it to be good."
At the same time, out of all the stories I read, there was only 1 for me that stood out as an absolute, "YES! This one must go in!"
Even though there wasn't much talking during the day, it was fun to just be around writers and their energy for the afternoon. I need to do more of that. I've become a bit bored lately with writing and have been thinking I need to attend some conferences or workshops or just reinvolve myself with writers communities to stir up some energy.
Meanwhile, kudos to the writers who made it to the next round and for those who didn't, take heart. We still really liked your stories.
Dena Harris
in Writing, General
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Reader Comments (19)
On the upside, I know a High School rag that can use this.
So it wasn't that exact sentence. Maybe nobody but you invented the words "S'dme" or "Vrturn". Then surely someone who invented the words "M'gway" or "L'l'bean" would never recognize the mockery of their own work in what you said. Do you seriously believe that? Seriously?
Honestly, I think you're missing the point. The point is that you chose to mock submissions (to a publication not even your own, no less) in a public venue. It goes not only to unprofessionalism but to poor judgment and very bad form.
You see, being an editor is like being a commentator in sports. You weren't good enough to make it as an athelete, but you love the sport. So, what do you do? You sit back and slam those who try to do what you couldn't. It's a great gig. Just because I suck as a writer doesn't mean that you get rewarded for being good, because I am your jury. So: HA!
If you're of a mind, feel free to drop into my realm of short stories. I'd like to hear your honest thoughts on some of the stories that I have written and posted. You have to sign up to leave comments, but it's free. You can even make fun of me in your blog, if you so choose. I'm thick-skinned. Let me know if you find something submissable! www.mad_man.writing.com
If you’d stop and think for a moment instead of having juvenile, knee-jerk reactions, you’d realize there’s a lot of helpful information that can be gleaned from her post. The magazine in question has received a glut of clone stories. A smart writer would say, okay, maybe I shouldn’t submit any clone stories there right now. The editor of the magazine in question doesn’t like present tense stories. Okay, don’t submit any stories written in the present tense there (BTW, present tense has to be done just about perfectly to even come close to being readable. Outside of pretentious literary magazines, that kind of stuff hardly ever gets published anyway.) The magazine in question likes it when the story gets to the point, instead of writing three paragraphs of purple prose. A smart writer would get to the point. I could go on and on. Maybe instead of whining, you should be thanking Ms. Harris for the valuable insights.
You would, if you were mature, smart writers…
I have learned the error of my ways, and I apoligize for my initial knee-jerk posting. I now know that I must read every blog on the internet in an effort to find those posted by people who were invited to "slush-parties" despite the fact that this one was described as a post-slush-party; the slush having been previously culled. This is the only way I'll ever know what every person who might read my stories likes and dislikes. Afterall, these things aren't mentioned in most submission guidelines or Writers Market, even though Lena is a frequent columnist is some variations of that esteemed publication. What about those critiquers who don't post blogs? This is an impossible quandery. Do I try to write a story that everyone will like no matter what, forming it around a million contradictory guidelines, or do I simply write what I write and try to find an editor who is new enough to the position not to hate me before he/she opens my envelope? If you are trying to help people with this line of discussion, then some enlightenment would be appropriate. If it is simply a slamfest on writers, then I will turn my attention elsewhere.
Any chance of this "discussion" being moved to
Edmund's blog, which is where I suspect most of you read the post for the first time anyway? I'm not sure why your replies--especially the ones questioning Edmund's judgement in having me for a reader--weren't made there in the first place. (Unless by some strange twist of fate a bunch of Sci-Fi writers googled "cats" on the same day, found this post and were excited to have hit paydirt.)
When a magazine editor accepts the responsibility to respond to writers on a timely basis, there needs to be reading assistants, i.e., those who can quickly assess the suitability of a submission for publication in THAT PARTICULAR MAGAZINE. There was nothing inappropriate here for the discerning writer, because the insight into an editor's requirements and preferences is invaluable.
That the editor chose to bring these assistants together for an afternoon -- a personal day they each gave up to help get the writers their responses -- it seems natural the editors/readers will get comfortable and read.
However, some stories are inappropriately subbed, and the only choice for the editor is rejection.
I believe this entry is very helpful for the professional writer, the one who is serious about writing and getting published. Unless the writer him/herself says, "Hey, I wrote a story from the elephant's viewpoint," there would be no way for someone to know.
I think those of you who have found this unprofessional should do an exercise in close reading. Dena is a professional.
First of all, did anyone notice that Dena said she LIKED the vast majority of stories she read and had a hard time culling them out? Anyone at all?
Second: yes it would have been unprofessional for Dena to say ‘Fred’ wrote a story with this sentence or that, or ‘Jane’ wrote a story about a purple elephant, but she did nothing of the kind. Nothing. She simply said some writers made some very foolish choices and obvious mistakes and we laughed because of it. I honestly fail to understand how people can be offended by that. I even fail to understand how people can be offended by her saying so in public (which is a point that, though I don’t agree with, is one of the more reasonable points to be made so far).
Talking about it in public is no different from complaining in public about stupid things that happen in the office. Do you go onto people’s blogs and get offended when they point out foolish things that go on in their office? Are you one of those people who is offended by Dilbert cartoons? How is what Dena did any different from that? That’s really the heart of my point. If someone has a serious answer to that, I would be happy to hear it (on MY blog), because I’m genuinely interested to know. But if all you want to do is flame (like pathetic Mr. “You’ll Never Be What I Should Have Been”), know that you’ll just be showing yourself for the lame human being you are. Your choice either way.
And lastly, you should know that just because a story has been passed on by one assistant editor (as was the case with all 112 stories we read that day), doesn’t mean there aren’t still going to be some bad ones in the bunch. Whether you consider it professional of me to say so or not, the fact is that probably a third of all submissions (or more; to EVERY magazine you ever heard of) can be dismissed within the first few paragraphs as being unsuitable for publication. That means that even when the “slush pile” has been gone through once, there are still going to be stories in the remaining pile that are not any good. It’s a fact. Deal with it.
I once went to a presentation made by a literary agent from NY (who shall remain nameless because I don’t want you to start harassing her, too), who told everyone in the store (Barnes & Noble - a fairly public place by my estimation), they her agency kept a box full of the worst submissions they ever received, and that when they had a tough day they took that box out and read the stories out loud. And laughed. It’s a necessary form of release when you read for a living the way agents and editors do (and make no mistake, Dena is, among other things, a professional editor who get PAID for her opinions on writing).
Look, I know that people put their hearts and souls into every story they write. I also know that it’s hard enough to hear that your has been rejected, much less that it may have been laughably bad. But if you have a problem with that fact, I would recommend that you sit down and a write a story that is so damn good that editors will want to buy it. Then you can have the last laugh.
To those who were upset I’ll grant you this: I hesitated before I wrote the post, wondering if it was crossing any lines. I went with it because 1) I didn’t name the editor or the magazine (not knowing at the time the entry would be later posted on his blog, although I gave him permission to do so when he asked) so when I wrote it, I assumed no one would know what mag it was regarding. 2) The post was intended for regular readers of my blog—most of whom aren’t writers—to give them an idea of how I spent my day and what I thought was an interesting and lighthearted behind-the-scenes glimpse of how articles are selected. 3) I thought I made it clear that I enjoyed the majority of work I read.
Whether you agree with those reasons or if they remain valid reasons—given that this entry was posted on the blog of the editor of the magazine—is beside the point now. But I thought you might like to know there was initial hesitation and maybe there was something there worth examining.
I do want to clear up a few details that—if I’d any idea the post would be read with such fervor (where were you people when I was hawking my cat books?)—I would have been clearer on.
1. Yes, wine and beer were in the room. So were water, lemonade, Coke, and some disgusting Mello-Yellowish like drink. In three hours, the most I saw anyone drink was 2.5 beers. We were not drunk when we rejected your stories. Take that as consolation or a blow.
2. You all are entitled to your opinions, as I am to mine. One of my opinions is that people are reading way too much into this post. It isn’t a “how to” on what to submit or not submit. It’s not a slam on writers. It’s a glossed-over glimpse of an afternoon. Did we laugh at some sentences? Yes. They were bad. We were in a room reading for 3 hours and the levity was appreciated. I didn’t name names and don’t think it’s unprofessional to mention that some stuff wasn’t up to par.
3. The danger of writing is always that your intent will be misinterpreted. Looking back, I can see how my last line of “we really liked your work” with the “really” italicized can be read as mocking. You’ll have to take my word that wasn’t the intent. I meant it sincerely. We really liked a lot of what we read, even if it ended up in the rejection pile.
GOING FORWARD
I’m calling a halt to these posts, at least on my blog. I think everything has been said that needs to and people are repeating themselves. So I’m deleting any future posts—whether against me or singing my praises. If people insist on returning, I’ll remove the post and all comments from the site.
Do I think several of you blew this post way out of proportion? Yes. Am I sorry you feel the way you do? Actually, yes. Am I going to work any more to convince you you’re mistaken? Nope. All done.
Best of luck to everyone in their writing career. And seriously, some of you should consider getting a cat. They’re very soothing creatures…